MY LIFE

Complete

2011-10-26T19:41:00.000+08:00

I may not be perfect in your eyes,

My presence may too annoy your sight,

But I have nothing much to disguise,

For this is all of how I would fight.

I may not be perfect in your hands,

But I've tried drawing a lot of smiles,

I am so sorry I could not mend,

Although I tried through all the miles.

I may not be perfect in your mind,

But please don't you look me down,

For I've shown all that I could find,

I just don't see hence I am drown.

I may not be prefect in your life,

My heart keeps singing you a beat,

For you I'd swim deep as I can dive,

As that would make me feel complete.

arsenal n chelsea nak dtg msia...agak agak team msia buleh menang x??

2011-07-07T00:49:00.001+08:00

Honestly or not? If not, boleh! (:

I beg your pardon?

ur fevret actor?? dlm msia buleh,luo msia pun buleh...=)

2011-07-07T00:46:00.001+08:00

Jean Claude Van Damme

I beg your pardon?

You'll Be Alright

2011-05-05T23:01:00.002+08:00

The crickets sing to a wondrous night,

As may their hid absorb the lights,

I bring to you this love so tight,

That there,s no need to have a fright,

The best I know you are so bright,

And so you know you have my might,

Believe in me you'll be alright,

For we shall reach far greater heights.

My Nation (Respect)

2010-07-19T22:09:00.004+08:00

The Malaysian nation has recently came to my concern. It involves a huge part of us who are discreetly neglecting to give a glance ahead of improvement. What we need to know is that the people need to be more sensitive about the surrounding more than just trying to live with it.

I think the Malaysian government needs to take proper action in order to compromise with these issues. The nation, the least that it could provide is to focus into whatever achievements they can reach with all the resources provided and subsidized by the authorities.

Lately I've been confronting many selfish acts that with naked eyes, may not seem very disturbing or hurting. Most would prefer to describe these tiny incidents as petty things. However, if seen in an other way around, it is a vital instrument that could either harm the building of a nation or save it by prevention.

I have yet touched about the huge agendas that reads on the everyday newspapers. This is just a sight of moral values that we usually face in our walks of life.

Apart from that, respect is the piece that I'm trying to put together this time. I feel overwhelmed by the ads on the radio stations nowadays mentioning how important it is to put oneself along with the others by lending a helping hand. "You don't need to dive into the ocean to save a life."

All we need to do is try to be more sensible and concerned over the things that are happening around us. These are some of the common things that could be of simple examples for us to ponder:

Stop or slow down when you see someone walking over a zebra crossing knowing that you have the advantage of relaxing in your seat with the air conditioner blowing against your face while he or she is sweating to reach a destination.
Stay in line whenever you're queueing knowing that everybody else in front of you is waiting as long as you're standing.
Do not complain when you find somebody with an unpleasant smell or torn clothes (e.g. in an internet café) for you may not have the idea of how hard his or her life may have been.
Chat discreetly in public transportations as most of the times, you are not the centre of attention. Rest is.
Be polite in your conversations no matter whom it is you're facing for you might not know that perhaps you're going to be his or her candidate in an interview at 9 o'clock.

It is not necessary that only the above points should be taken into consideration. They're just examples anyway. What I really mean is that these petty things could mean a lot when you do the right thing at the right time, be it for others or for your own moral input.

In other words, respect does not only mean to look up upon someone who has reached far beyond expectations like sailing across the world's 7 seas but it also means to accept and empathize what one has been through as a symbol of our understanding towards that other.

As a conclusion, developing a nation is not just about maintaining a national GDP at 7 to 8 percent every quarter nor it is about increasing the level of output or production of a country. We need to always return to the basic means, to becoming the best of our kind. Remember, "to err is human, to forgive divine."

Strength for Belle

2010-06-29T04:22:00.007+08:00

Dear Belle,

Life is hard I know but it's not going to be any easier by having all the obstacles running through our thoughts. As we always get to hear, "every cloud has a silver lining." The only way to get through these tough moments is to take control of our lives and put everything in order according to their priorities.

It is important to face and solve all the problems occurring but take it one step at a time. Do it just like how you dance so gracefully. Every single step, every single event in the days we go through has its own music and it's up to us to try to listen. Feel the aura of healing yourself. Keep telling that to your brain and that's what it will do because it turns out to be a prayer. A sincere one.

Life is not about what you want to achieve. It's about how you're going to reach those dreams. Here are some of the things that I suppose we should take into credit when facing difficulties:

Be positive in everything that occurs for everything happens for a reason. Start thinking of a wonderful idea that you could make use of from what you've learnt to face. Just like when you fear of standing and talking in front of a crowd, try to think of them as your closest friends or family, the people you're comfortable to share with. It'll take the creep out of you.
Bring in the joy and make life fun and adventurous for it is all that you need to cherish since we only get one chance out of it. Don't waste a millisecond on whether to choose a black shirt or a coloured shirt for you to wear. Either one, you're the person who's going to make the day colourful.
Keep in touch with friends and relatives, mix around with the world. Get the latest updates on what's your best friend's new gossips or do some reading in the newspapers about some world events. You could also create a blog for you to express your stories in. Whatever it is, get busy with yourself and fill up the schedule.
Get involved in healthy social activities like attending events that magnets your interests like a theatre or so. Get to know more people and the world so that your mind automatically becomes broader and more creative. Plus, you might just have the chance to show your talents and share them with others and most importantly;
Be yourself and believe in your conscience as it is part of the guidance for us to follow in addition to the hard work we've pushed towards. Sometimes, the surrounding might not be of our favour as we might get some negative charges from it. So you have to start to get to know yourself in order to be in control and to cherish every moment you're living through.

Well, I just wanted to say that life can be as simple and fun as how you want it to be. So don't make it complicated to avoid things from getting worse. "Walk towards the sunshine and let the shadow fall behind." You need to be strong in order to get through life's great endeavours. Thus, each single step you're going to take next must now be planned and well organized.

All in all, that's how you will reach your dreams. Trust me, it is not difficult. In fact, it's fun.

Love,

The Knowledge of Network

2010-06-22T03:31:00.003+08:00

Life is more than there is to living and so is the time that we're buying to get through it. Sometimes we fail to understand how lucky we are to be given these gifts that we presently have. At one extent, some of us tend to forget what we're even here for. Why do these things happen if we're all leading a greater purpose in the things we currently hold? All these questions, these arguments, do they have answers? Haven't they been haunting our innocent minds if it was not because of what we try to reach out for? The answers always lie within, in what we believe in and care for most.

My father always say to me, that life is spontaneous and that it is a surprise upon the things we're forwardly headed to but to be able to expect of what's coming, differs your pace from another option you should have taken. A mistake maybe, or possibly something worse. Unless we paddle with the right strokes and know when to hit the waves, we can't be of any help in finding our way back home. That's why knowledge comes in handy and it will be the primary dictionary towards various definitions in life, but subjectively, only with the right understanding; with the right teacher and teaching.

We are all different people from many walks of life and yet there is a purpose for all of that. Many would realize this fact but only less than could understand. The clues are obvious. It's just so that we can learn and catch up with the things we ought to know since, who knows, maybe the first time we learn how to walk, or maybe about the scary clown that's suppose to make us smile. Our different perceptions may lead to misunderstandings but under the light, these dissimilar thoughts may become somewhat ideas to achieve greater heights and perhaps, a unity that we can all share together.

What is it actually that I'm trying to convey? It's a message that we're all connected with each other to form this network we're living in. Each of us is a valuable piece of puzzle which sums up to picture the whole world. Every single one of us plays an important role to ensure that another one of us moves around. This tells us that the people who surround us are capable of setting up our next step, only if we know how and able to contain our roles. By saying this, all I mean is that we're all learning from this circle of life as for "the fate of a race would not be altered unless if they change it themselves." That's the purpose of learning the whole thing; to improvise; to make changes for the better good; "to make today better than yesterday and yet tomorrow than itself." That's why we should always stick to each other.

Hence, we need to remind ourselves that whatever information that we gather today, should hopefully be of an assistance for the next. And that we need to gradually continue that effort so that we can stand before anything that comes within our way. Knowledge is an important power that we need to master as for our lives here and hereafter depend on it no matter if we're siding to like it or not. To do that, we need to be strong by supporting each other with all the help we can give. We all know that it's a tough world out there. So gather up people, we've got a world to unite.

The Night

2010-06-18T17:00:00.000+08:00

The night sky is winding down the cold,

The wind shifts it to all new rhymes told,

As you are here with your sweets to hold,

And as you find the best of ways unfold.

You bring the night a bright sparkling sky,

You bring the might to the limits so high,

You accompany with sweet songs to try,

Thus brought me wings to help me to fly.

Through the whispers that nights are singing,

You raw out of stars a place we're clinging,

Just the velvet round and sounds of a ringing,

Clouded of ticks and minutes of your loving.

Hide and Show

2010-06-18T16:10:00.002+08:00

What is the part that you really want to hide?

Is it a side of you that would break your heart?

Is it just the petty things that you find so hard?

Or just another wonder if its still inside?

What is the part that you really want to show?

Is it the long quarts that make you flow?

Is it the little things that you already know?

Or just another way of how you love them so?

What is there to hide is what is there to show?

Of all the thoughts which have been bestowed,

For all the things you keep is in the things you

know you'd try and try and try to follow.

So then you know for this is how you grow.

Mother to Son

2009-10-11T01:10:00.003+08:00

Dear Ayid,

Those beautiful memories I have had since you were born have been something that I cannot describe. We shared everything. You have been my only friend when everyone had pushed me away and I have always had you to talk to about my ups and downs. Your smile gives me the strength that deep inside, I never want us to be apart. I struggled with my humble self missing my loved one. Then he came back and we are united. Then there came your little siblings to continue our never ending memory to be shared together. I will always love you so, so very much. You're always in my heart. Good night again.

Lots of love,

Ibu.

The Call

2009-09-29T06:30:00.002+08:00

During the wee hours of this morning, I was surfing over the internet just swaying my way in through Facebook. That was when the popup message came from her, offering to call me through Skype. It's been a while now since I got any calls from anybody, and so it rang me a bell that it had already been a fortnight now that she left for Newcastle due to pursuing her studies.

Paqin's voice was clearly excited about the whole new environment she's starting to adapt with. It was not a long chat though because the time signaled for us to hit our sleeps but it was good enough for me to know that this dear friend is doing all well, except for the normal all-new-weather discomfort. Besides the sudden change of temperature, I believe that there's also difficulty to find suitable food. I just hope your parcel will arrive soon, Paqin, just so that you'll be able to cook for all your friends afterward and also that you won't miss our food so much, I hope.

Well, those were among the important subjects we talked about. There was still a bunch of funny things we babbled together. Yes, it might have been a short talk, but it made me feel better. It did indeed, especially after being busy with a lot of things lately. And I hereby wish that you'll feel better too alright, Paqin? I wish the best in all you do. Study hard now. I trust that you'll be somebody important one day because even as of today, you already are. Take care always.

I'll Be There

2009-09-09T09:09:00.003+08:00

Listening to "I'll Be There" by the Jackson 5 simply reminds me of how wonderful things have turned out to be since you entered my life, my world. It pictures before me a beautiful night so windy, so full of stars upon the milky way, with the singing crickets accompanying the little and graceful dancing fireflies, just twirling around over the wee hours of the night.

Such a night, I would never forget. Your looks of joy sparkled through the midst of air with your smile carving my happiness alongside. It's just amazing how you can turn things around by altering sorrow into laughter. Just so you know, I'd be glad to accompany you through your good times or bad.

It might not be much of a huge gift to you but it's the least I can do to equalize the thoughts between us. And believe me, there's more than meets the eye with you. I'd travel across the continents, climb over mountains, fly through the air just to tickle your fancy and keep you safe. No matter what happens, I promise you that I'll always try my best, just so in whatever time of year it may be, I'll be there when you need me. Yes, that's a promise I'll keep. I'll be there. No worries. (:

Take care

2009-09-05T21:18:00.020+08:00

Sometimes in life, we would believe that we are completely able to reach onto something we really desire but how far does this feeling goes? Recently, I've been breaking through a series of unfortunate events which have been slowly emerging into my depth of life. I've already thought that these things would always come in packs and they would never seem to end. So I prepared myself both mentally and physically knowing that somehow, I will need to face them by hook or by crook.

The most recent occasion started just a few weeks back. It was a fine evening where I was sitting down before the computer screen just surfing my way through the internet. That was since when the great feeling came. It made me feel much better just as how I did once feel.

My thoughts started to mingle around with joy giving me easy gestures and built my confidence from low to Go! Go!. I wasn't sure if it was to hold or last long but I knew that it did flip my ways from worse to better. And so it did, presenting me one of the best memories I've ever lived through. So it doesn't really matter anyways if life would take that away from me, because a second swimming across it, already seemed like a whole eternity to me. Yes, eternity.

Now it's been a few weeks ahead of the history and just like life has always thought me, things do come and go and for each second it contains itself for you, would bring a lot of meaning to yourself and your paces. I may have wanted so badly for the situation to pause itself but as life keeps on going, I believe that what is written in my fate will bring me something better, or in other words, turn my life happier, enhanced. Besides, making it happen has a huge difference with letting it happen. One, is you change its course, the other is, it just comes naturally.

So yet still I know not if that beginning is about to end but all I hope is so that the thing that's brought that feeling to me would keep shining on people's lives and bring more of the joy into it's miraculous life. Whether it's going to be in my favour or not, I just want you to know and remember, like I've always told you; I will always be around. Take care, as your being is truly precious. Till then.

P/S: Keep on singing for that's where you'll find your true melody in life's greatest songs. (:

The Party

2009-08-19T23:07:00.006+08:00

Balloons were floating while the rain was falling,

The crowd was cheering with smiles that evening,
Decorations turned helpful voices into joyful songs,
Classical pilings cover smiles to freely sing along,

As I step through the gates, I didn't know it's been,
There I saw thee with colourful paints were seen,
All views then came dull beyond thy stand of tall,
Sunshine called and love reflected over the walls,

I glazed upon the miracle, my heart began to beat,
I flew across all obstacles, I reached out the sweets,
That evening then ended, but grabbed the intended,
Still this soul brings home crowds, thoughts bended,

For yes so clear the joyful songs keep playing aloud,
And yes o dear, the painter longs and loved in thoughts.

Me And You

2009-08-17T19:27:00.013+08:00

When I close both of my eyes,

I feel like I'd failed all my tries,
When I stop all my paces,
I feel like losing all the spaces,
When I fall deep into sleeps,
I feel like it's such a huge leap,
When I try to strive and run,
I realize that rush is no fun,
However,
When I close my eyes while hugging you,
I feel the days would turn out so joyful,
When I stop just right in front of you,
My heart keeps walking towards you,
When I fall into my sleeps with you,
I hold the sweetest dreams come true,
And when I try to run just towards you,
'Tis like the wonderful world is running too,
'Tis like it's trying to reach for Me And You.

My Tree of Roses

2009-07-31T17:14:00.008+08:00

My love for you is as;

The flaming Red Rose,
As to a thousand red petals,
Yet I care more than of those,
I speak of sun, I see you shining,
I speak of stars, you're not that far,
I speak of hearts, you're my ev'ry part,
I speak of life, you're my wondrous five;
My vision,
My senses,
My feelings,
My thoughts,
And most of all,
My endless love.
Until the day I lose my soul,
Until the second I lose them all,
I'll give each petal into your hands,
I pray it holds until the very end.

Sonnet for Paqin

2009-07-03T02:39:00.005+08:00

Life is a path towards a sweet destination,

Its time counts no matter what's the portion,
The paces grow from wide to longer roads,
The views throw out leaves like us on words.

Life is a place for a great soul's lesson,
Its books and inks shall spread more reasons,
The writing flows from one letter to another,
The exciting thrills engrave moments together,

Life is of a very short destination,
Its time counts as your 20th of missions,
The day smiles for your heart in every way,
As it is your once-a-year's Happy Birthday.

So perish guilt as life holds your sweetest seconds,
And cherish life as it holds your key to heaven.

Thank You

2009-07-03T00:13:00.005+08:00

I just knew you yesterday,

And yet you've cherished all my life,
I wish there's something to say,
As you brought me right into life.

I like the way you laugh with me,
And thoughts you bring out loud,
I'd like to keep you for eternity,
And make you smile and proud.

Until my life then finally ends,
I'd like to keep this great happiness,
No matter however bad it bends,
You will be my one true greatness.

You

2009-07-02T21:43:00.003+08:00

You make my life worth while,

You sing songs to make me smile,
You have truly made a lot of tries,
You seem to see it through my eyes,
You tell what's best and what is not,
You cherish all of my sweetest thoughts,
You fill my heart with deep greatness,
You are my one and only happiness.

No Time

2009-07-02T13:49:00.010+08:00

O, how long will it take,

For me to just reach you,
I'll put my life at stake,
Even just to cheer you.

That would be,
Three hours by bus,
Two hours by car,
One hour on foot,
Zero hour by heart.

Hurry up now,
There's no time to lose,
And I don't care how,
Your smile is what I choose.

P/S: It takes only one hour by foot for I'll surely faint by then. Especially with the hot weather.

O, Life

2009-05-17T01:24:00.004+08:00

O life, please grant me a wish,

I need a new step to begin,
I need a new sight to fit in,
I need a vision to find my niche,
I need a life within my reach,
A life I could pour my smile upon.

O life, please grant me a wish,
I need a person just to understand,
And solid grounds where I can stand,
I need some friends to join me too,
I need a brave heart to get through,
A life I could pour my smile upon.

O life, please grant me a wish,
I need my misery to be vanished,
I need a power so I could vanquish,
I need my sorrow to be thrown,
I need to hold tight to my throne, in
A life I could pour my smile upon.

The Crossroads

2009-04-17T01:36:00.004+08:00

These few days,

I try to walk down forward and run,
Yet it offers me not a little but none,
I try to drive in, and move forward,
But I tend to go frowning, so absurd,

These few days,
I try to step aside, but I'm right in,
Standing out of sight, but I'm still seen,
I twist it to my right, but I'm still wrong,
So need to keep my might, and be strong,

These few days,
I try to keep it close, but I'm to be left,
Wonder where it'd go, all the things I have,
I jump way to the left, swaying to the door,
Yet all I do is laugh, or I'd be missing more,

These few days,
I try to stand back up, to win all in town,
But it all erupts, there they fall way down,
I stop to turn it back, but each tick is once,
So if I get off track, I just need a new one.

Cheer Up Emilyn

2009-04-10T15:35:00.004+08:00

This isn't much but,

'Tis a thought of such,
Under the smooth dwelling sky,
You should be flying so high,
Let all life's beauty unfolds,
Let not the burdens hold,
Go bloom tall like a tower,
Like a sweet glowing flower,
Colour up your weaknesses,
And fill up the empty spaces,
Cheer up dear Emilyn,
For your days
Would always
Be Chilling

Despair

2009-04-07T02:32:00.005+08:00

With depth of thoughts in all tonight,

I feel the lost of my greatest might,
I feel the pain but I can't explain,
And this despair is too much to gain,
Though birthday wishes had made me glad,
I still see cliches which drive me sad,
I tend to lose my favourite ways,
I think I'm losing my best of days,
O, please, o, why, I must repel,
From all these bruises I must expel,
And find my path with all so wishful,
And close that lasts from all the wistful.

I have no idea what I'm trying to describe. All that I know is that I'm facing a hard time at this present moment. Most probably it's because I'm going to be getting through the final exams. Yet I still don't think that's the actual cause of it, because I've been thinking a lot about something lately and they're not what I've ever wished to slip through my mind before. Curiosity, confusion, disappointments, and these troubling thoughts are starting to crawl all over me. And still, I can't find anyone to talk about it to. I'm not sure if there is anyone around but I sure hope I'd find out soon, just as soon as I find my true self standing yet again. May that day arrive right on time. I'll be back on track.

You, Me and Nadd

2009-03-03T13:35:00.005+08:00

Tonight, I'm glazing upon the stars,

Keep pondering if you're too, that far,
So clear as all the crickets sing,
I trust how sweet that you would bring,

O, clear night sky with thoughts so high,
I need so much the guts to try,
I wish that you and me and Nadd,
Would stay together with all our hearts,

But if it's not what's meant to be,
I'd pray that she would always see,
The sweetest dreams each night she sleeps,
Held with memories for her to keep.

Days to Nights

2009-02-24T03:18:00.005+08:00

The sun rose,

O, like a blooming flower,
Its birds froze the chirps ,
Pouring thee the living power,
Through days it grabs
The sweets of thy beauty,
Thus shines them all
As in needs of equality,

As moon and stars
Resembles thy eyes,
With swift of winds
Swaying thy soft fine hair,
Thee slid the warmth,
Through air cold as ice,
Too, captured all hearts,
Keep them off despairs,

With the love thou hath,
And with care as cleft,
The days and nights
As we both recite,
Would serve thee
The sweet night sleeps,
With cutest dreams to sweep.

Little Miss Tootsie

2009-01-29T03:11:00.006+08:00

Little Miss Tootsie,

Would you come and sit next to me?
Visit me when I'm busy?
Stay with me when I'm asleep?
Take me into your world,
Walk with me alongside
Your pretty little road,
Will the rainbows fade there?
Let me talk to the flowers so,
I can know their names,
Not just roses, lilies and daisies,
Perhaps Sarah, Wendy and Mary,
Little Miss Tootsie,
Take my hand,
Do walk with me.

By,
Lina Mastura

My Wings

2009-01-27T01:45:00.004+08:00

It was a fall, against the wall,

It was a call, in nightmares' tall,
Another day unfolded and kept untold,
Another way was moulded and was kept hold,
It was a week, it was so sweet,
It was a seek, I tried in weak,
Another step keeps swaying, I tried to sing,
Another clap was playing, I tried to ring,
It was so true, it was then you,
Your voice sang too, and gave me clues,
Another day keeps rising, I try to swing,
Another may keeps saying, you are my wings.

Sweet Dreams

2009-01-22T15:53:00.004+08:00

The night is glowing,

For us to ponder,
The might is growing,
For great times better,
The crickets are singing,
From me to you,
They're singing for you,
To have a sweet night through.

Good Night,
Sweet Dreams,
Sleep Tight,
Don't let the
Bed Bugs Bite.

Sunshine

2009-01-04T05:46:00.005+08:00

The days had all gone through,

The ways had all found you,
And to the limitless of ends,
To grab an endless grab of bends,
You shine like clusters in the Milky Way,
You sing like humming birds in all sweet days,
'Tis all drawing the most beautiful,
Meets all the paints of the wonderful,
You make it sound like swinging sways,
As if to tell "let come what may",
It gives one best with a happy pot,
It leaves one's rest with a happy thought,
Until it brings the smile of ease,
Until it rings the bells of please,
You are the sunshine from east to west,
You brought me mine and please my best.

Happy 2009

2009-01-01T15:09:00.009+08:00

The time has spoken, in between it's written,

Such glimpse through memories would never dim,
The past renewed, life again, continued,
Such peace have ambled away from gambled,
The future unfolds, from our nature's cold,
Such shadows left in such shadows' cleft,
Gold ticks untie the blues on defiant holds,
True nicks unstopped when new tricks are popped,
O, what's a new year, with a new sad tear?
And what is there to fear, if the joy is clear?
Life is thus abstract, pausing for one to act,
O, unleash the tacks, to one incredible fact;
'Tis a whole New Year, so cheer on peers!
Your time is here.

Happy 2009 everyone! Now we've all stepped forward into a new block of time in our lives. I'd like to take the opportunity to thank everyone, who had poured their time for me through the whole past year, 2008. And to tell you the truth, I've learned a lot of things back then and they did turn me into someone better, as to compared to myself before. To those people who's given me the sweet memories for my living, I surely thank you and thank God for letting me know you guys. All I can say here is, life is very short for us to even think back about especially the worse memories. So let us all shine, and be the star in this glorious start of the New Year. Let's beat the time fellas. It's our time. Just let it rhyme. Tick tock!

So Close

2008-12-29T20:26:00.003+08:00

You're in my arms

And all the world is calm
The music playing on for only two
So close together
And when I'm with you
So close to feeling alive

A life goes by
Romantic dreams will stop
So I bid mine goodbye and never knew
So close was waiting, waiting here with you
And now forever I know
All that I wanted to hold you
So close

So close to reaching that famous happy end
Almost believing this was not pretend
Now you're beside me
And look how far we've come
So far we are so close

O, how could I face the faceless days
If I should lose you now
We're so close
To reaching that famous happy end
Almost believing this was not pretend
Let's go on dreaming for we know we are
So close
So close
And still so far

Lonely

2008-12-26T00:09:00.006+08:00

Sometimes, it is hard to imagine about a world without anyone surrounding you but sometimes you could only imagine why is there not anyone around? Some people say that it depends on your own imaginations, as how you prefer it to be. However, is it possible to think of something that isn't even there? I can't answer that, because I keep questioning myself over that question.

I've been through a lot lately, and of all the events which stroke me, I just could not find anyone to share them with. Friends? Why would I not seek them when they're all I have besides my family? But it's not that I've never tried. I've tried everything I was ever able to, to please them. But most of the times, they choose someone else over me.

Every single time I think about this, I would ask myself "don't I worth a thing?" I know I do, but how am I supposed to show it? I am leading through a normal life. I make myself feel who I really am. It's only sometimes, I just couldn't find anyone around for me to talk to.

Everyday of my life, I tend to realize one thing which I keep whispering inside of myself not to believe, that everyone is better than me. I've had close friends before. But as time flies through, other people take them away from me with their own special attractions. As for me, what do I have to attract new ones? My words? My poems? Not much even bothers to look. Most of the people I know keep telling the people they know that I'm a freak. It's just because I love to write, it makes me different from how most of their friends are. Is it my fault that this occurs?

Now, some friends who have been really nice to me, wouldn't even bother to reply me, be it on the phone or on the net. And some of the new friends I try to make, thinks I'm too much. And the reason is, I gave them a piece of paper written with my poems and a bunch of words of happiness.

Tell me please. What have gone wrong? Am I invaluable? At least I know I'm not to myself. But what? What did I miss to deserve to lose everyone I ever cared about? At least most of them. If it was not my best, then what was it? I know it's wrong to feel this way, but it keeps crossing through my mind. Sometimes I just could not help myself. I really wish I'd find my path soon. Very soon.

Only

2008-12-15T01:29:00.005+08:00

Until the time is only through,

I'd love deeply o so only you,
Your heart is all I ever seek,
Without you, it makes me all so weak,
Through days I see you highly shine,
Through days your heart's always in mine,
The nights with you upon the stars
The nights sing too you're not that far,
And so I cherish each sec I share,
And so do perish sadness of pairs,
Until the time is only through,
I'd be so glad with only you,
Until the days is going to end,
Your heart for me is all that's meant.

Star

2008-11-15T02:41:00.006+08:00

I grow pots of stars onto the nightly air,

Below them all of trust I keep a pair,
They're shining one for you,
And give you tricky clues,
And one more showed you me;
I just stumbled there to see,
The stars of heaven's smile is to compete,
Against you wondrous miles,
Which you complete,
And so for it, it made me vow,
To nothing sweet that I would bow,
As you're the only famous sweet,
That none reflects me more
Than what's more to it,
Until the day I die,
I'd always keep it tied,
Like the billion stars upon the skies,
So close no matter what is tried,
I wish that you would always shine,
In these huggable hands of mine,
And my love; I'll never let them tear,
For you're the one and only, my Baby Bear.

2nd Anniversary Sonnet

2008-11-05T01:52:00.005+08:00

It's upon the stars that it's all written

Something is happening that's so recent
All that it tells is for it is today
Making it the greatest amongst all days

'Tis in rhyme with the melodies of life
Too, brings out the sweets of the largest hive
The sounds of smiles are beginning to chime
They cut through dreadful pains from time to time

Impossible to part; in doubtful to fall
With mighty sun as lights and stars to call
Today brings you and me the highest skies
And it's worth the strength with the best of tries

It's your Birthday see; it's your best to be
O and Anniversary? Yes! And I love you B

My Love Sonnet

2008-05-16T00:53:00.014+08:00

Memories filter'd in true sanity,
As the cool air breeze on gloomy faces,
Dark emphasis cracks to live all empty,
Stars flashing the eyes to shine sweet paces,

Fiendish can’t empower strong burning bonds,

Cheers would sparkle thus enlighten tough paths,

Belief would bloom the glee and perish thorns,

Abrupt voice of loving exhaled thou hath,

Fairest moon splash dull loneliness to none,
Leaves art torn from trees and leash quiet rhymes;
Yet new lives’ been born till the cycle’s done,
And with precious feeling share none with time,

Till ticks stop striking or sun sets ever,

Till then I‘d love more and it ends never.

1/2 Year Anniversary

2007-05-06T03:53:00.002+08:00

A Promise of Love

As long
as forever,
I'll stay
by your side
To be
your companion,
your friend
and your guide.

As long
as I live
and as long
as you care,
I'll protect
and I'll cherish
this love
that we share.

As long
as forever
my heart
will be true,
For as long
as I live -
I'll love only you.

My 18th Birthday

2007-04-05T14:37:00.002+08:00

Life would still go on, I know,

If you were not beside me.
The sun would rise and shine
just like before.
The world would go on turning
as each day became the night,
The moon still brings the tide
into the shore

But there would be no colour
in a life without you in it,
sun and moon and sky
would fade to gray.
There'd be no need for paintings
or for songs or celebrations,
all their inspirations
gone away.

But color -oh we have it-
yes. and light and love and song,
with you beside me
life is more than great.
Days and nights with you, love,
make me glad to be alive.
Together we have worlds
still to create.

Happy Birthday.

I love you =)
Aina Nabilah Lokman

Missing Something

2006-09-23T17:32:00.008+08:00

"Nothing could change a thing between us, Syahid. I promise," was what being told to me before I went home from the huge gathering that night. The night clouded with gentle breeze froze my heart cracking the whole memory I've had with her. She, whom I'm talking about was the best friend I have ever had when I was small.

We shared a lot of things together. We understood each other, yet she always did better though. She was all the happiness I could gain from my disastrous days. The upside down rainbow on my face, my smile, may have not been so much colourful if it weren't because of her shines through the pouring rains. The silence of the whole neighbourhood was once filled with our jokes and laughters. The nights full of darkness were lit by our amazing brightness of friendship which too, sparkled across our world of endless joy.

I still remember how she would make me smile each time I see her. I remember her face during those days. So full of tenderness sweeping each endeavour stepping between us. She never did turn away unless if her sadness is over flown. She never did want to make me worry that she wished for me to keep the happines I always had.

I also remember how she could somehow reach my thoughts and read them out loud deciphering all the untold feelings. We smiled. We laughed. We shared so many things together. And till today I still remain the same, wanting to see this fading friendship to bloom again. Unfortunately, all I think that I can do is to place the memory in where I could always see it, in my heart for everything that happened between us were the best moments I've ever had.

Aina Nabilah

2006-08-22T16:59:00.006+08:00

Have you ever been through a situation when you have found something special, you see it clearly in front of your eyes, and sitting next to you, and yet that closeness still wouldn't be able to let you grab it? Treasure is everywhere around this whole gargantuan world whether it is before our very eyes or deep within our souls. And it could be sparkled anytime, any moment without notice. But through the way to find it, we'll find life's greatest endeavours seeking for our spirit to drink them down into their throats and let us fall into the realms of failure.

Indeed, but magically, when we past through them, we'd know that it was worth it to slip in some painful moments into our very own experiences. And that it didn't matter if we were to fall off away from our lives for it brings us unexplainable returns that would change our lives forever. Well just a few days ago, my shut-tight heart had been unfolded to fill in just, well may I say, tonnes more remarkable memories. Aina. "O, what is that?," some would ask. "Is it d combination of some Arabic letters?" Well that might be of anybody's perception, but through of my own, Aina is definitely much more than that. She has been bringing a new spirit into my soul though she was just an unexpected visitor who knocked on the door of my life in a sudden moment.

Well the story began just a year back of us. Those few days were filled with wonderful music from all around this beloved land of which the world know as Malaysia, a developing country. They were the days when boarding school students perform their melodies and tunes at their best to compete in such a competition called, The Wind Orchestra Competition. One of those days, were flowing through quite as normal as the others. But suddenly there were a bit of twists in it. There was a moment when suddenly, somebody was looking for me, while I was clearing my thoughts through the fine air of Sekolah Seri Puteri, Cyberjaya, the host of the grand competition. A somebody I don't know. "She's a girl?," I questioned myself. I have never been searched by any girls of whom I never had known in my entire life.

Somehow, I still met her trying my best to look ever so cool though at that time my heart was pounding like a punch bag being hit by Mike Tyson. O, you have no idea. She was among the most beautiful creations I have ever seen. "Syahid?," she poured it through her gentle lips. "Aaah yes. Do I know you?," I trembled. "O no, we never met. I just need your help to pass this to Aleq." Aleq is a good friend of mine and happens to be her close neighbour in Kampung Tunku somewhere in PJ. "OK, no problemo. By the way, I didn't get you name yet," I was eager to know. Well at least it was to tell Aleq from who that cute little bookmark was from. "Aina," she replied. From that very moment, I never forget that name although I knew it was going to end up somewhere lost, at least, I guessed.

It was just a short meet and I never saw her again later. Yes, later. Until this very year, 2006, after Sekolah Alam Shah dragged their victory title home, defending it again. I met her once more. It was, too, an unexpected scene. O, I was hungry that time. I could've eaten the whole table at the dining hall, under the musolla. My team mates so passed through several of SERATAS girls hanging out on the staircase, with the hungry me, of course. "Syahid, do send my regards to Aleq yeah." Suddenly a voice captured my empty tummy to stop and forced to turn myself around to track for the unknown voice, yet so familiar to my ear drums. "What did you call me?," I was curious if I misheard that wonderful voice. It wasn't in a cruel way, I think. And with the look of shock born into her face, "Syahid." I am totally not used to be called suddenly in public where I don't expect to know anyone in it.

She stood right in front of me with a gentle look. Gee, now I remember that curve of sweet carved smile. It was Aina. I was given the chance to meet her again. O, well, it was just a coincidence I thought. Beside, angels roam everywhere. I never thought I'd have the chance to know her that very much. O, she too, then, added me on her friends' list on Friendster. But still she's just a normal girl I thought. A stranger to me. People meet new friends everyday. And at the same time, people talk to strangers too, which is what we shouldn't really do. We chat and till the extent of certain moments, we just forget those who are unrelated to us.

But Aina is different. She thought me a lesson. We shouldn't ever forget people. Remember them as we remember the wonderful sceneries we see surrounding us. We then became friends on the net only. We didn't reach each other that very often. But now I know I remember her perfectly. I believed maybe someday, somehow, we'd meet each other again and share our thoughts and mind thinking with each other. But I only believed. It never happened. Well I didn't care much because I know I didn't deserve to get along with such a beautiful princess.

Unfortunately, fate has gotten myself wrong. Now it's the Wind Orchestra Finale! At first, never crossed my mind that she'd attend the occasion. On my way to the Kuala Lumpur Convention Centre by the school bus, we dropped at Ipoh to fetch a group of STAR students and continued our so-like-an-endless journey.

On the cooling air conditioned bus, I was puzzled by sudden a regard sent by Aainaa through a STAR buddy. Lan was his name. I thought it was Aainaa, the top student in TKC. But why in the world? I never kept in touch with her that very often. In fact, it was too seldom. Aah~ it was just a regard. As the tires of the bus kept rolling reaching its destination, I still couldn't picture the puzzle. Why would Aainaa send her regards to me? She doesn't even really know me. "Okay, we're here. Please behave and take care of yourselves," our guide teacher, Bibi reminded us as we arrived. We then went directly into the gargantuan hall which actually was just a minor hall there in KLCC. We enjoyed the show.

SAS was definitely incredible and they won without creating any doubts of how remarkable they were. Somehow, questions were still running on top of my medulla. My mind was still playing with the puzzle. "Which Aina?," I kept asking myself. The same question rolled on continuously until it was time to go back to the college ground. We then went back home safely and again, we stopped at STAR to drop our friends. But before the stop, there was this another memorable stop at around 3 a.m. at Tapah's R&R. I was so thirsty. So I bought a cup of hot Milo (o, you have no idea how I was desperate for something hot at that particular time). And I sat. The drink was hot alright but there was something else burning my inspirations early that morning.

It was, as if I noticed someone. It was, it was. Wait, let me check. Yes, it was Aina! I couldn't hold my sudden smile to her while she was passing by me. O, she's great. Burning hot, I tell you. She replied my smile, "What is it Syahid? You seem as if you just arrive in heaven~" You bet! I was so cold, and then suddenly the warmth gently covered me. And I saw an angel too. I'm indeed in heaven. In order to control the red blush on my face, I stood up and told myself to buy something in one of those shops they have just so I'd look relaxed but "wait a minute, how could Aina get into this shop so quickly? I just saw her at the table. And now she's here in another one! O I'm totally dead now am I?," again, dazzled. But this Aina was a little bit different. Well never mind, I slipped every thought fall crashing to the ground as I just couldn't take my eyes off. . . . .both of the Ainas? Huh? Now I see Aina sitting side by side eating at the same table! "I'm mad, totally insane!" I was too exhausted I presume. O well, the stop was over. We continued the human-killings-by-the-cold-bus journey. It was very cold. But it didn't matter much as I was able to sleep with Ainas' smile in my brain keeping me warm through the windy night.

O, I missed to tell the moment when Lan met me. He again told that Aina sent her regards to me. And up to the extent of having a heart attack, "She wants your phone number too." O good heavens, now angels use phones to call a person up to the heavens? Well I got her number too, in case I'd be needing it someday. I really mean that. IN CASE.

So days went through. I first talked to her through my first dial for her at the, well not very convenient for a special call like that, the school canteen. We texted each other and till today, she's the only one to wish me good night before my sleeps. She's the only one to care about me whenever I need some one to talk to. I do have best friends. Yes, I do. Lots of them but they seem to be busy during these moments. The Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia examination is just around the corner.

I never blame them. I'm busy myself. But for this girl, Aina, it didn't cost her that much to ask about my conditions sometimes. It was only last Sunday, the two Ainas, their brother, Amir and I went out for the movies. We watched The Lake House. Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock were starring in that magical, sweet movie. More like my story and Aina I thought. The movie hall was indeed sort of giving anyone a chill. Aina, sitting just right next to me was caught with flu out of the coldness. Pity her. She's given me her wonderful warmth and let herself feeling cold. I tried to look for any cloth to cover her but basically in Malaysia, who in the world would wear some two pieces of clothes?

It was a great movie played in front of me. But I didn't quite enjoy it when I heard her sobs. While watching, she let down of her hair. Now I know she couldn't quite cope with cold whether. I didn't sit well, wishing the movie would end soon. And so it did. The lights were then turned out of their dimness. O my goodness, she was just so beautiful with her hair let down. Yes, I told her that. And so she just kept it that way. We ambled through that largest mall in the country until it was time to say goodbye. Well, truly from the heart, I had never met a girl who loved my smile.

So I gave her a last smile as we both head back to our homes. She said I have been a good companion for her. Well I sure am trying to be and till someday, I might be at my best. Who knows? Hahaha you're definitely a wonderful companion too, my dearest Aina. May this friendship continues its blooms till the very end of time. =)

P/S: She's got a twin sister named Alia.

Butterfly Friend

2006-06-19T21:23:00.002+08:00

I was eleven, and my family was preparing to leave the beautiful Japanese island of Okinawa, where we had lived for four years. Shortly we'd head beck to North America, thence to England: My father was being transferred yet again.

But I had constructed a mental wall against this unsettledness. My fascination eith nature, in whatever contry I moved to, provided me with an endless source of distraction and amazement. I'd been collecting seashells and fossils, hiking and bird-watching since I could remember. And when I hed arrived on this little island in the Pasific Ocean, I discovered a startling variety of butterflies, and I began to collect them.

I had several glass-topped trays of glorious specimens, carefully labelled and mounted. They came in all sizes and hues, from deepest blues to brilliant yellows, scarlets and shimmering emerald greens. Catching butterflies wasn't easy, so I was proud of my collection.

But there was one that I had yet to capture - the magnificent great orange tip. The previous Christmas I had received from my godfather a marvellous book on sub-tropical butterflies. It included a fully illustrated page with scientific information on this orange-tipped white butterfly that, with its seven to ten-centimetre wingspan, was Okinawa's largest white butterfly. I was entranced - and determined to have one.

The problem was a lofty habitat: I could only watch these lovely insects floating gracefully on the sea breeze, high above the canopy of trees that shrouded the centre of the island. No matter how high I climb, encumbered by my net and collection jars, these creatures were always just beyond my reach - like white and orange confetti settled on the treetops.

As the bags and boxes were packed that summer for our departure, the household was steadily converted into luggage. Yet I kept my butterfly net clear of the packers' hands and spent most of my times outdoors, ranging through the bamboo.

With school out for the summer and only a couple of days before we were to leave, I began to give up hope of finding my great orange tip. My mother told me one morning that my collection panels and books had to be packed up by afternoon. Meanwhile I was at leave to wander the bush and the hedgerows, keeping a wary eye out for my elusive beauty.

In the dense heat, the cicadas buzzed and green lizards danced on the footpaths in the burning sun. The seas of sugarcane rippled gently in the air, and butterflies of all sorts floated ar dodged briskly above the wildflowers on the hillsides. But as usual, the great orange tips remained high above the treetops that day. I traipsed home disconsolately after my fruitless, final search.

But then, as I rounded the corner of our cul-de-sac, alongside the vibrant hibiscus hedge, I caught a flash of brilliant white out of the corner of my eye. I looked up and there it was, about a metre away, settled on one of the the big scarlet flowers. As it fed on the nectar, its wings moved tremulously and I froze in my tracks, transfixed.After a long moment,I began to raise my net, little by little, my heart pounding, the sweat trickling down my brow.

Suddenly the big beauty was aloft, moving to another flower. I swung. And there at last the coveted prize, beating furiously in the fine mesh of my trap. I could scarely believe my eyes or my luck.

Gently I reached in and grabbed the butterfly by the thorax, with every intention of nudging it into the killing jar, where the deadly formaldehyde would quickly do its work. But my hand froze as I reached for the jar and I simply gazed, astonished, at the groilat my other hand. There was the brilliant, iridescent bloom of orange on the tips of its glowing white wings, and I could feel the creature's fear between my fingers. Its little legs scrambled frantically inmy palm.

And then on my impulse, I tossed my long-sought prize into the clear, bright air and watched it float away like a perfect living origami. High above the nearly trees it sailed, then disappeared from sight.

Two days later, I, too, was soaring over the little green island, headedfor a home I didn't know. My butterfly was down there somewhere, hovering above the trees, distant and only freetingly attainable.

******Well this is one of the essays I'm keeping for a very, very long time for it's some sort of giving me motivations. Apparently, it's not of my handwritings. It's an adaption from the Reader's Digest I received from my great English teacher, Tuan Syed, who's also my present class teacher. Well he's another guy who says I'm already ocayh on my writing, but, owh well who knows better than myself? I know I could do better~ Only if I know the way to. Ehem. Back to the point, this kind human being said, "if you really love something, then let it go". I was like huh??? "And if someday it comes back to you, then it's yours". But I still don't get to know how true it really is. So I'll just have to wait. Until my 'butterfly' comes back to me. "And if it doesn't," ahaha, he also said,"it's because love's like that~"******

Raja Azraff

2006-06-08T16:32:00.006+08:00

King as it is spoken in English is the meaning of raja. What do I have to say about this royalty? No other king in the world could have crossed through my thoughts but this one, Raja Azraff. Ask me how special he is and I'll respond, he's the king of all friends who came across him. He's my best buddy. No matter where he steps his foot, it's always a warm welcome from others.

Darkened days shall turn into red letter ones. And how bright they would turn into, is as bright as the light that shines your way to a wonderful life. Raja and I had a lot of great time spent. We shared ideas and some of them were really unacceptable but funny though. Funny enough to shine up ones day.

He's a really matured buddy. His good words always became advice for me to further on a better future. Well it all started in form two, when we were both fourteen. We used to hang out to just have fun with a lot of other friends. Watched crazy, funny movies and all. Sometimes on the field with our, well may I say, favourite game, football. And of course, seldom take our books to study along because, well whaddayaknow, we were to have fun in college! Hey, fourteen, what do you really expect?

It was only our second year and there were still so much time till the big exams, the PMR. But we still did study a bit. It was our mission anyway. That was the time when Sir Ali-mood-deen was conquering the whole institution. Those were the superb days. I still remember the time when the examination results were out. Sir Ali-mood-deen, who was the former principle of our beloved college, decided to cane everybody who didn't pass their exams, starting from that particular one (but believe me, he's the loveliest principle of all time. We even called him ayahanda which means "Daddy").

Raja and me, after knowing that he was coming, ran out of class hiding around the college compound from him. It was funny how the teachers we passed by asking "Where do you think you're going? Back to your classes! Hope he hits you really hard!" , though we both know it wasn't that bad because he never performed any cruel acts. We were always both looking for entertainment everywhere. Well it was him whom I truly trust that I also introduced him to a very nice friend of mine of which I've known for a very long time. And I kind of lost that friend later then but I didn't care much because I know that people deserve to know him better than myself. I was often down to the ground, but with his strength, his attitude, he brought me back to reality. He always did.

He's got that great buddy kind of talk. He's some kind of an idol to me too, I think. Everybody feels comfy when it comes to chat with him, to mix around with him, or to look at his exhilarating life. Well sadly, I'm not that very close to him anymore nowadays. Maybe it's because the SPM is near and we don't actually have much time to be spent like the old funny days where the college grounds were made playground for us and our pals. Yet still till now, I still appreciate this guy for whatever that he had done for me. And all in all, he's a very great pal indeed. You can always count on him when you're deeply in need. Of course you can. If it isn't true, then he wouldn't become a king, right? =)

Nadia Elaiza

2006-06-07T16:34:00.022+08:00

Oh well, so I'm starting this thing all over again. Isn't it suppose to be about my life? So why bother about the negative side, right? Okay let's start ever since I was a young brat sticking to life searching the decipherings of it. It started when I was in standard two which is commonly known as an eight year old kid who's excited to go to school everyday to learn a couple of great new things and of course to get along with friends. And among those cute friends I had those days, there was this one good friend.

She's a girl who seemed to be very friendly (well not actually by the way she got on my nerves all the time). But what could an eight possibly think about? We were just kids~ And besides she's very helpful. No doubt. Oh before that, her name is Nadia Elaiza. Such a mild name isn't it? Most of the times she made me smile more than to make me burst out like a freak though most of the times at school, she and her best friend, Farah used to do mean things to me. They hid my belongings and always called me Mr Pendek. Ahaha now you see who's talking missy. Oh well everyone went through those kind of days.

After, let me see, about a few exams after that my mum suddenly got stuck with her so called mama (just as I expected because our mums are too friendly). Huhu such a baby calling mama~ They then became friends. At first, oh my God. Why in the world did this happen? Now I have to meet her even after class. I was like "help me, heeelp me!" during those moments. Yeah of course! She would even throw me out of a window you know. So mean! Though sometimes her smiles made me hit the walls in front. Man, she's darn adorable. Tell me if there are any eyes that won't stick to her looks. Oh well, back to my main point. Suffering days went by passing through all the hated feelings inside of me. Gee wondrously, the days then became much better. And I saw that impossible friendship blooming as if it's another start of spring in my life.

Later then, we always enjoyed to meet each other. I was always at her house as our houses weren't that very far. Even if they were, I'd still put my ambles to that big beautiful everybody-should-live-in-a-thing-like-that house. Her family was a very happy one. Her mother, Aunt Ida always welcomed me that I felt like I was a part of the family. Her father, Uncle Norisam never kept himself from asking about my conditions, my studies, and how her beautiful daughter was doing at school. Iqa, the friendly princess, never made me feel bored that she was like my vision towards being noble. Saif, her brother, or isn't it Bobby? Ahaha he's a very good footballer indeed. And up to what Nadia still don't get to know till today, me and Bobby shared a couple of great deep secrets. =) Never mind. She won't bother to read this. They were so funny to remember. And lastly, the cute little boy who's so very smart in deciding would be her dearest little brother, Raif. Well people calls him Ideen. He was always very, very friendly to me. There were always stuffs he wanted to give me. =)

Well didn't I miss one? Oh! Nadia~ Hahaha she's a pain in the, well all over the place I tell you. Kidding dear. We usually quarrel a lot but what can I say? Those were our kiddy days. It's all about growing up. Actually, this gorgeous girl is totally sweet and caring and loving and oh tell me what's not enough. She's a great friend to me. Or to anyone she meets (I think so). We always had fun. Sometimes, we played football in their backyard along with his brothers. Bobby was always to teased us both. Hahaha how funny. He even questioned me some personal questions and the funny answers were always no! I was always afraid to give the opposite answers. You know what I'm trying to deliver here Bobby. =)

Okay, okay back to her sister, my great childhood mate. Computer games? That's what we sometimes played together. We even played bowling. She's ever so great in bowling. Her rolls made me stumble from my steps. She's even a Negri's bowler today. Other times? We run about and ruin everything in our ways (especially when my blood's fried up), sat and talked about what we'd like to become, a few times wondering how we would be in the future. "Would we remain as today, Nadia? Or maybe I, myself would forget you. I really hope not." Well who cares yet about that? We were to enjoy those present days and stay with each other until the time comes. The time I never wished to be in.

When we were to go into our separate ways. She was to go to the south, to The Tunku Kurshiah College and I, to the northern part, The Malay College. It was fun to know that we achieved our dreams to reach those prestigious schools but then, it's again about our friendship. I definitely know, that we may go no more further. When her mother announced my success in finding the school as my alma mater, I was rather excited. I jumped out of bed and thanked her for telling the wonderful news. Her parents, during the few days before the school reopens, made a kenduri for her and even invited me to come over to join them. It was later known as ours.

I remember how I was in my red baju Melayu sitting next to her. "Nadia, let's send letters to each other so we won't forget each other~" It was a positive reply that I got. We exchanged addresses and then I presented her the dice watch I bought with what was left with me so that she would forget me never. We chatted till the very late of the night where other comers of the kenduri went home except for my family. It was that night we had our last computer games played together. I let her win. I remember. It was a game of the little cars racing around a park. I couldn't bare looking at her face. I just wanted to see her happy for the last time (well at that time I think it was).

The night then ended as how it was fated to. The cries of my parents to have me downstairs caught my loyal ears listening to her. I went out and then, I saw it. She fell into her tears drowning my soul. She hugged her mama. I tried to make her smile. I even gave her a pocket calendar. So that she'd always see the holidays, reminding her that we could still meet. She stopped the tears from falling and so I went back home with a sad self but still on a positive mind, "she'd forget me not even when she'd have new wonderful friends." How far was that so true? No one knows except us, me and her. Deep inside her I know, even if it's as tiny as no one could see, she still remembers me.

And now it's our final year in our secondaries. A year as fifth formers. And God knows what will happen next. I might not gain the great friendship her great friends took from me but I know that this sweet memory would last inside of me, rolling over and over again till, I guess ,forever.

No matter what, I just wish for her to succeed in life and face all life's endeavours with her strong wills and her undefined strength. So I think those were all a tiny part of what's so gargantuan about the wonderful Nadia Elaiza in my life, which is also a part of me, myself, Syahid at all.

Miracle

2006-06-04T18:23:00.005+08:00

Miracle is something we don't expect to come to us. And I thought it just won't happen to me but how I never realized that it has entered my life quite a long time ago made me think, I still haven't seen the whole of this wide wonderful world I'm living. This time, it's about a person who I've known some many moons ago. It's so hard to describe her that there's nothing in this world that has the ability to show this wondrous person's beauty. In my mind, this is the most precious magical thing which has ever flowed into my dull life. 'Miracle' would be the name for her this time. In the past few years, when I was in need of help, I found a name on the net and how she calmed me down, made me felt relieved and thus I made her the best helping friend I've ever had. Not only that, we also chatted a lot about ourselves and our adventurous life. Later then, in a few months, some problems strucked my brain once again. So as I've known her long and for the tenderness in her sincerity, it was the same sweet name that I searched for in the chatting room. Again, we poured words in a long talk for quite some time and unsurprisingly, she, repeatedly solved my problems. It didn't seem hard for her. I kept wondering how kind this person is. She's never tired of giving support. Sadly, it was only till recently that I finally notice this precious being for all this while, I thought she'd be like all other people. Look when they're in need, and leave when they've had enough. She's told me of how special I am to her and not to doubt it but all this while, those are the words which keep running through my listening ears. Either to put my trust in her or not, I still am to be with this beautiful creature until the day I truly know the real her. All I'm wishing is so that we both would be great together until the end of time. To Miss Miracle, I wish that you'd stay by my side no matter what may come and I promise you the best of me. Words keep forcing me to speak something out loud but I guess it's just still not the right time. Besides, I don't even deserve to say it to you. If you know who you are dearest miracle, please bear deep inside your mind that I appreciate you more than you ever know for you are the best to free this heart unseen. =) Well those were all from me, myself at all. I'll continue later.